We belong to a small, traditional church family, and they’ve truly been a rock for us—especially in seasons when we needed support the most. Their kindness and steadfast presence have meant the world.

That said, most of the children in our church are older, and ours are currently the youngest. Which means, more often than not, they’re the only ones making noise during services. As someone who didn’t grow up around children in church, I felt completely unprepared for how to handle my two-year-old’s natural urge to run around, talk loudly, and explore everything.

We knew we didn’t want to use spanking as a discipline tool, especially not in a setting as meaningful as church. It was very important to us that our children grow up with positive feelings and experiences surrounding faith and community—not fear or shame.

But trying to manage that in real time was exhausting. I found myself constantly on edge, worried about the noise, the stares, the disruption. Eventually, the stress became so overwhelming that I started dreading going to church altogether.

That’s when I decided to ask another mom for advice—a mom I trusted deeply. She had a big family, a mix of boys and girls, and the kind of calm wisdom I really admire. What she told me took me completely by surprise:

“Don’t stress over things they will grow out of.”

I had always believed that if we didn’t teach our son to sit still and be quiet now, we’d be setting ourselves up for even bigger challenges down the road. Her words introduced a completely new perspective—and honestly, it was such a relief that I nearly cried.

She explained that instead of forcing her little ones to sit through the entire service, she let them play in the nursery or walked them around the church. As they got a bit older—around four or so—they naturally began to understand the concept of time and could start sitting through parts of the service.

Taking her advice to heart, I’ve since embraced a different approach. I now spend most of the service in the nursery, listening while playing with my kids. It’s not always picture-perfect, but it’s so much more peaceful—and it feels right for this season of life.

I’m still learning as I go—still figuring things out as a “new-ish” mom—but if I could offer two pieces of advice to other moms navigating similar waters, they would be these:

1. Find yourself a supportive, grounded community.
2. Seek out a mom with experience and wisdom—and don’t be afraid to ask for guidance.

You’re not alone, and you don’t have to have it all figured out. Sometimes, just one encouraging word can lift a huge weight off your shoulders.