She brings him good, not harm,
all the days of her life.
-Proverbs 31:12
What does this verse even mean? How do you bring your husband good and not harm? When I first started reading my bible and I came across this verse, my immediate thought would be to physically harm him or maliciously do something to hurt him. But there are so many more ways we can hurt him without even realizing what we are doing. How can we harm him?
Putting him in debt
Imagine a husband who works hard all day to support his family but he’s getting nowhere because his wife spends all the money he makes on things they don’t even need. Spending overtime working to pay off a credit card used for things like impulse buys on home decor, clothes, beauty supplies, and coffee drinks. Or maybe spending money on extravagant food instead of helping him pay off a bill.
Embarrassing him in front of others
Telling innocent jokes about him or something that he did. Don’t make him feel like he can’t be himself around you because you’ll repeat his actions/words to friends and family. Be someone he can trust with his heart and not worry about it being repeated.
Your Attitude
The attitude you have sets the tone within your home. If you want a home to feel peaceful you need to radiate peace. If you want your home to feel happy you need to radiate happiness. Don’t make him go to the corner of your rooftop (Proverbs 25:24 ) because you are always angry about something. Nagging him about something. Accusing him of something. A man should not have to walk on eggshells in his own home. His home should be a sanctuary away from the rest of the world.
Trying to take the place of his Holy Spirit
God did not appoint you for this job. You are not his self-conscious. It is not your job to change him. A woman never won a man over by nagging him! God says specifically that a man will be won over by his wife without her saying a word. ( 1 Peter 3:1 – In the same way, you wives must accept the authority of your husbands. Then, even if some refuse to obey the Good News, your godly lives will speak to them without any words.) I love how the NLT words this verse.
What are some ways that we can do him good instead of harm?
Respecting him
Uplifting him with our words
Saying great things about him behind his back as well
Giving him your best attitude
Make the house he provides into a home
Put food on his table that is nutritious for him
One of the most important things to remember is that you were created to be YOUR husband’s helper and how your husband needs help won’t necessarily be the same as another husband does. You can read all the “how to” posts you want but in the end ask YOUR husband how you can be his number one helper in this life.
